Day 26: Things you’d say to your ex.

This writing challenge feels more like a quick survey than a writing project.

My fault really, I answer questions literally and to the point. Waxing poetic is not my style. Especially with topics like what I’d say to an ex or what family member I dislike, or what I’m wearing.

Honestly though, if I ran into an ex, I can’t imagine saying anything other than, hello and how are you.

I have no unfinished business with anyone. There is no one in the world I fear seeing again. No one I have any regrets or resentments with. I feel my side of the street is clean, and my hello and how are you would be from the heart and genuine.

Also, I’ve been with Ken for over 30 some years, so I wonder if I’d even recognize an old flame.

If I did happen to run into, and recognize, my first husband, George, after saying hello, I’d ask him about his daughters. Tammy and Machelle are grown women now. I think of them quite often.

Still, after this week, I realize, it’s possible, that there are some people, people who were once very important to me, that I may never see again, much less even say hello to again.

I’m okay with that, unless I think about it too much.

Tomorrows topic: What you wore today.

Day 25: Four weird traits I have.

Like I said before – I do not think I am weird. I have no super natural tendencies, nor the power (or desire) to control destiny. I do like the Wyrd Sisters music though.

I doubt the dictionary definition of the word weird is what this topic is referring to. I do think they are asking what I believe is odd about myself. Again, besides being afraid of lava, I don’t think I’m all that odd. Others may disagree, but I would find that odd.

Okay, here it goes.
1. I’m odd with money. I won’t spend $2.00 on a yard sale book, but will turn around and buy a car we don’t need. 🙂
2. I don’t collect stuff yet, I probably have 20 hats.
3. I write letters. The kind where a pen, envelope and stamp are needed.
4. I can’t think of a thing I have, that I couldn’t give away.

Tomorrows topic: Things you’d say to your ex.

On with the days we go. The amazing part of life is, for the living it goes on. No matter our drama, trauma, joy or celebrations — sooner or later, we want to know what’s for lunch.

After a day or two of staring out the window, I went to the pool, had a long walk, (14,000 steps) made pasta, and macaroons. I’m sure John’s family will be staring out windows for a lot longer.

I still wish I believed in hell. Then I could then wish the bastards there. It is amazing how I wish them such violence in return.

So, on with the show, and what ever is playing, I’ve got a ticket.

Perhaps I’ll get back to the 30 day writing challenge here, the topic I left off on is asking me to describe four weird traits I have.

The problem as I see it is, l think I am quite normal and not weird at all.

Except for the lava thing. That’s weird.

I’l see how the day goes.

Sometimes a day off is needed.

I’m taking time off today, to stare out the window.

R.I.P. dear John.
I’m writing to write.
And to tell a story of John.

John was my friend Marian’s cousin. I met him on Bowen Island. I even cooked for him. We became friends. He would recommend books for me and told the most amazing stories. He and Marian were very close, so I also would hear stories from her all the time. John was a good man.

I didn’t talk as much as I wanted to about him after he was captured. He would come and go in my thoughts often. Especially around Christmas. My crazy concern was that he had his glasses and shoes with him when he was taken.

The family had asked not to publicize his capture, in order not to jeopardize the negotiations. I was told, that the family and the governments of Canada and the Philippines, as well as many others had been working strenuously for 6 months to free the hostages. Let’s hope the others can get free.

I wrote the Prime Minister and received a letter back from a different minister – saying they shared my concern. I was surprised it was not a form letter, but an actual response to my letter.

I blame the fuckers who killed him. No one else.

Unfortunately, I also read too much of the news for me. I now have things in my head that should not be there, too many visuals of violence.

Humans can be so cruel.

Day 23: A family member you dislike.

This is mean and I won’t write about it.

What’s next on the list?

Day 24: Something you miss.

Hmmmm. Something, not someone? What thing do I miss?

We sold at least half of our stuff when we moved to Sechelt. We sold all of our stuff when we moved to Canada! I cannot think of one thing I miss. On the contrary, I continue to look around and see stuff that I’d like to get rid of.

Earrings for example. I have a lot of earrings, and the last time I wore earrings was at least two years ago. I wore them to a Christmas party, before that, it was probably at another holiday party the year before.

I used to wear earrings every day. But, I stopped for some reason. Maybe I should try wearing them again, but then I think of being in the pool and well, it would be one more thing to mess with. Meh. I guess I don’t miss wearing earrings all that much. Anyone want to buy some earrings? How about a necklace, or bracelet, or perhaps a ring?

I do not miss wearing jewellery. And, I have some nice pieces.

I don’t miss the art work we gave away either. Well, I think about one piece in particular,  but, I don’t miss it enough to write about it.

Things – no, I miss no thing.

People – oh, my heart aches with missing people.

I miss living close to Marian. Being able to walk up to her house, sit on her sofa for a visit, was the best. I miss the friends we moved away from, and the ones we never lived close to. I miss my students and teachers.

I really miss a lot of dead people. I’m not going into the list here, as I would go on and on and on. If I loved them and they died – I miss them!

My friend Anna gave me a refrigerator magnet a long time ago. It said, “The best things in life are not things.”

I guess I miss the best things in life!

Tomorrows topic: Four weird traits you have. (Weirder than being afraid of lava?)

Day 21: Your zodiac/horoscope and whether you think it fits you.

The thing I know about the Taurus is, they love being a Taurus!

I don’t believe that the stars are guiding my way. Not by a long shot. I do find reading my horoscope by Georgia Nichols (a Bowen Islander BTW) a lot of fun. I read it and forget it.

I had my chart done once, back when we lived in Eugene, OR. I must have had a coupon.

Anyway – Christine Towler told me I was about as Taurus as they come. I was born on the cusp between Taurus and Gemini , yet I lean pretty heavy on the Taurus side.

My mom was a Taurus, my dad was a Taurus, and according to my chart, my moon is in Taurus, my sun is in Taurus and any other lingo astrologers may use for me is in Taurus.

I fit the description of a Taurus to a tee, add in my left handedness, and I’m a happy bull!

On the other hand, my Chinese astrology sign is the sheep. I don’t get that one at all.

Day 22: Your morning routine.

Yeah, no. Been there done that. If you read this bloggy thing even once in a while, you’ll know I’ve described my morning rituals more than a few times.

Tomorrows topic: A family member you dislike.

Day 20: Put your music on shuffle and write about the first three songs that play and what your initial thought is.

Music is not a big thing in my life. I know that is not cool to say, and don’t get me wrong – I like music, but I can go days and days without listening to any.

Of course, I like listening to Ken practice his guitar and I totally admire the talent of folks who play instruments or can sing. Oh, to be able to sing!

With the death of so many famous musicians this year, we are reminded how music gets us through different periods of our life. Of course certain songs hit us harder than others. Most of us can hear a song and remember exactly where we were, and what we were doing at the time it was a hit.

I’ll never forget being in NYC lying in my Grandmothers bed listening to the radio. I heard the song American Pie by Don Maclean for the first time. Holy Moly! Of course having Art for a brother, did a lot for my musical education. Plus, I was around for the 60s!

The first album I ever bought was Meet the Beatles and the first concert I ever went to was the Butterfield Blues Band and the Crazy World of Arthur Brown at the Filmore East in New York. I was lucky and got to see all the cool bands. For me, though, it wasn’t so much the music, that drew me — it was the event. I liked to party and we partied with music.

I’m different now. I do not keep up with the latest and greatest new music. I still play the oldies and show tunes. I have no idea who the cool or hot artists in the world are. I know Paul McCartney and Bob Dylan, and Roger Daultry are still selling tickets. In some ways, I find it wrong. I regret never seeing the Rolling Stones in concert — but, today I have no interest in seeing Mick Jager jumping around. Keith Richards on the other hand, might be worth the ticket.

Getting back to this day 20 writing challenge, I did exactly what I was instructed to do. I hit shuffle on my iPod and was curious as to what might come up. At first I was afraid I would get a chapter of a book, or a podcast, but nope. I got three terrific songs. I was happy to listen and dance!

First up was Amy Winehouse, singing Rehab. Yes, I sang along! Marian gave me the CD the last time she was visiting, and I feel hip to have this in my collection. Amy was a talent, too bad she didn’t go to rehab though.

Second song up was the Art Hudson Band, with the song You Got Off Easy. My brother is a prolific song writer and incredible guitar player. This song is from his latest album, Smothered in Red. I find it to be a sensitive tribute to my dad and brother Bill, with a heavy beat. I admire Arts song writings and playing skill. I wonder what path he might have gone down had he had support or encouragement. I will say I’m his biggest fan.

The third song took me back in time. Huge memories hit me when Christine Duncan, came on and sang Greatland. This is from the disc Different Standards. The entire album was written by Sam Masich. He wrote Greatland with his friend Marick, in mind. Greatland is one of my absolute favourite songs, and Christine blows my mind when she sings. Always has.

I don’t listen to a lot of music these days, and what I listen to, is what I’ve listened to for years. I’m okay with that right now.

Day 21: Your zodiac/horoscope and whether you think it fits you.

Day 19: Five fears I have.

This story would have been more interesting about 35 years ago. Back then I was afraid of just about everything.

But I guess, as we grow up, train, and live through stuff well, fear becomes just another emotion. I still have a healthy fear of things that I should be scare of guns, politics, and such. But I’ve learned, for the most part, how to move through being uncomfortable before fear kicks in. I also have some training and skills to use to calm down and deal. Plus, I have Ken.

I can’t think of five fears, but I do have two really unreasonable ones. Two fears that have absolutely no basis in reality. I’ve no idea why I have them, but I do.

Frogs. Frogs are bad. I do not like frogs. It doesn’t matter to me if I’m afraid of them or just don’t like them. If I see I frog – I’m running the other way. I don’t even want to see photos of frogs, or speak of frogs, even writing this is making my heart race a bit. By the way, I do not like being teased about this either.

I’ll just say it, frogs are bad! They scare the shit out of me and are known to jump up your pant leg. I can’t imagine anyone would be okay with that!

The other fear I have comes on out of the blue, usually when I’m in Hawaii. Always, when I least expect it. Before I know it, I am on crawling on all fours, crying, or frozen in my tracks.

Lava. Yup – lava.

I’ve had several experiences where I get paralyzed with fear when I walk on lava.

I’m not talking hot molten lava, that would be a reasonable fear. No, I’m talking about the stuff at the John Day fossil beds in Oregon, or like I said, the lava rock that pretty well covers Hawaii.

Large beds of lava rock bring out an uncontrollable fear in me. My mind knows it is silly, but my body gets freaked; I start to cry, shake, sweat and tremble.

Do not ask me to explain. I can’t. I just know that walking on lava rocks, especially in those two places really scares me.

Right now, I have a real fear for my friend John Ridsel.
Sometimes I fear I will disappoint the people who love me. (especially Ken.)

But, for this exercise – I’m going with frogs and lava. Because – they are fucking frogs and scary lava.

Tomorrows topic: Put your music on shuffle and write about the first three songs that play and what your initial thought is.

Day 17 topic: A quote you try to live by.

As the queen of bumper sticker philosophy – I have a few quotes that help me in life.

But, on day 17 of this funny writing exercise, I am only asked for one.

I’m going with the one that is at the top of my bloggy thing. I feel this quote goes a long way in any circumstance.

“Say what you mean, mean what you say and don’t say it mean.”

Simple, clear, honest, and kind.

And, because I just heard this one from my friend Jen, and I think it is brilliant, a close second is “it is desirable to get up in the morning, take a walk in the yard, to loosen up the hair and relax the body.”

Words of wisdom indeed!

Day 18 topic: Your favourite colour and why.

Oh, I’m just going to do this one too. It won’t be a big bloggy writing exercise, I can just answer it and move on.

When Ken and I got married, one of my bridesmaids asked me what our colours were. My answer was the same one I would use today, I like colour! I’m all for colour. Who doesn’t like colour?

Now, if I must choose a favourite, I’m going with forest green. I find it rich and comforting. Forest green is as pretty as any other colour. I like blue, red, yellow and purple too. I like colour.

Tomorrow’s topic: Five fears you have.
Sneak preview: I’m afraid to express my fears! Ha!