I don’t look like it and it may surprise a lot of people who know me, but I am a deep thinker!

And these days, I have been thinking about the differences between habit, ritual, and tradition.

Deep thoughts.

I think it is easy to poo poo habit and think a habit, good or bad is anything done over and over again without thought. But, to cultivate a habit, or quit one, we need to be very mindful of the practice. So, if I am mindful, does that turn a habit into a ritual? See deep thoughts.

What do you call a decisions as complex or simple as brushing your teeth, playing tai chi, smoking, eating the same breakfast year after year, blowing candles out on a cake, calling your mom every Sunday? When we do something on a conscience level and then practice and let it just become part of us, are these habits, rituals or traditions? Does it matter?

Tradition is most easily defined for me. In my mind, tradition is ritual or habit that happens over time. Something we did last year at this time, and will do it again this year at this time. I think tradition is also something that is shared.

All this thinking brings me to our tradition of choosing a motto for the coming year.

Ken and I have had a motto to guide us every year for a very long time. I don’t exactly know when we started this. I do wish we had taken the effort to write them all down somewhere, so we can look back because as I rely on my memory I only remember a few.

Put the top down.
New Directions.
Full Tilt Boogie.

Last year, I had Panoramic for my motto.

Panoramic was very fitting, as I spent a lot of time this last year in New Mexico attending the churchoftheholysunrise sitting on the edge of a mountain looking out. On the cruise ship to Alaska, on the road trip in the mountains, on the dock of a float house, down at the beach and on our patio, I actually spend a lot of 2013 looking out. Panoramic was satisfying.

So, it is motto time again, and I’ve given a lot of thought to it.

Mottos sets a tone for the why and how we hope our year is filled. Mottos add flavour. I also know you have to be very careful when choosing a motto, because, we pretty much always get what we ask for.

Ken and I are looking for a change in 2014. Changing just enough where everything will be different enough to be fun and new again.
So drum roll – I am practicing the tradition of announcing my motto of 2014.

Together Forward!

Let’s go!

Marian gave me a notepad last year. I keep it by my desk. It is the perfect pad for note writing. Long and narrow with a spiral binding, I can stand it up or lay it down — no matter. What matters is that when I think of an important to-do or thought that could use some attention, I write it down on the pad. When I complete the chore, I check it off with glee. When one sheet is full – I turn the page and start another list with the days pressing matters.

Every once in a while I turn a few pages back and see all the stuff I didn’t do.

I’m sure there is a 10 most helpful list somewhere out there for savvy business people, that says bringing forward your to-do lists from yesterday into today is pretty important. I’m not savvy.

On my list of things to do today, is to go through the notes from last year. as we close up 2013 I want to bring forth any items or ideas I forgot about by turning the page.

Perhaps as I look back and look again, I will take some action, or beg your forgiveness for not calling you back, or check out the book someone recommend I read. Maybe I will be reminded of that next big fat idea that could change the world.

Then again, since I haven’t looked back and life goes on, I have to wonder how important is anything.

We shall see… we shall see.

Ken and I put jig saw puzzles together during the holidays. We finished one in two days. It was really fun. It came in the mail in a zip lock baggie and there was no picture of it anywhere. Ken was the one who figured out that it was a 500 piece funny baseball game puzzle. It was fun.

When we finished that one, we went into the closet and pulled another. It is the holidays after all and we were on a roll.

I’m not sure where we got this one — it was of a wildlife scene and 1500 pieces. The picture of it looked quite colourful, but the actual pieces are just this side of the same black, blue, brown, and purple with a touch of red in them. It’s a hard puzzle. We preserved, but never really made much progress.

Ken taught me when to walk out of a movie, when to quit reading a book, and how when things aren’t fun to throw in the towel.

I give most things a good chance. I make an honest effort. But if I’m not feeling it, I move on —especially if it is not important.

We agreed this morning that this puzzle was no fun, so we found another way to enjoy it!

I got a note from Sandie today. It said, “I really don’t like getting to work on Monday and not seeing anything from you in my e-mail.”

She is referring to the fact that I usually send her my blog post by email, so that she doesn’t have to check the JJJ web site. Since I haven’t posted anything in a few days, I haven’t had any thing to send her. She said I had taken a pleasure away from her.

I hang my head in shame and remorse.

Being in touch is not that hard; but it does take effort and I haven’t made the effort.

In this day and age, there are a zillion ways to stay in touch and connect.

Making an effort to tell people you care, isn’t that hard. I care. I really do. I’m also being quite lazy.

Sorry!

I know it isn’t the same, but here’s a photo of Moser! He wants my attention too! ☺

After yesterday’s holiday rant, I got a package in the mail and everything turned around. My brother Art, sent me a present! Woot-woot!
The big box had two calendars, two music CD’s of his band, one DVD of a movie, a sweater and a camera in it! Getting the camera turned me into a little kid. I got so excited and am so happy.

In this day and age of the ever present phone that takes photos, most things in life are snapped by a phone and posted just as quickly. The art of photography is in so many ways, is a lost art.

Now, Jim is an artist with his photography, and is the exception to this. I know several other pros and I don’t mean to take their work lightly. There is no contest between their photos and the iPhone quick click photos. But, the photos I take on the itouch are just this side of real crap, and it is exciting to have a real camera.

I now, expect to take better photos. Photos that are in focus, and with true colours; photos that will win contests. Now, all I have to do is point and shoot with the right camera and Pow! Pure beauty, after all, it’s all about the camera right.☺ (Sorry Jim, it just slipped out.)

Anyway, I’m excited to take some pictures.

Here is one from my walk this morning. The walk that took an extra 15 minutes, because I kept stopping and clicking. And, I will again salute Jim, as out of the 14 photos I took this morning with the new camera, I had to delete 12 of them for being out fuzzy or otherwise not great. Maybe it isn’t the camera after all, maybe I need some practice!

Merry Christmas and Solstice Blessings or whatever it is you like to hear this time of year. I’m already done with it all. I know have a short attention span, but I peaked early.

I gave it a good run. I think I started too fast and too early. I’ve already sent out presents, wrote cards, went to two choir concerts, decorated a very sad “recuse” tree with ornaments that hold stories. We still have a ham dinner with friends, planned for Thursday, and I’m hoping I still have a present or two to open, but for the most part. I’m done.

I’m not unsentimental, I cry and watch the Christmas movies on TV. And not just the standards of It’s A Wonderful Life, but also the shows where some kid has a brain tumour or cancer, and the town or a dog, or his real mother, comes to his rescue spreading love and light. Also, the movies about the simple and plain girl who falls in love with the fancy man, and transforms until he finally sees that she is the perfect girl for him too, no matter what his family or status says. Blah, blah… Is anything better than Christmas magic on Walton’s Mountain?

This is the time when everyone ends up loving each other, and no one ever gets left out when presents are given, and no drunks ever barf at the table, and the tree doesn’t come crashing down because of a family fight. Nope – everyone is happy, bright and gay.

Don’t get me wrong, I like the cookies, the presents, some of the songs, and the lights on the houses. What I don’t like is that it lasts so darn long. Christmas isn’t a day. It is a season, and the season for me is too long.

With all the jingle jangle and joy, over time, Christmas has a way of morphing me from my wonderful life into a sad and melancholy mindset, not the other way around. Too much heartfelt stuff is just too much. I don’t care for the pressure to make all things calm and bright and spirits filled with love and joy and oh, look the perfect, family, gift or__________ fill in the blank.

There is too much time to think and remember and wonder and shop and get excited or angry or sad. Weeks and weeks of ho-ho-ho surpass my tolerance. A little is good, but too much… well, too much has always been my struggle.

Christmas Day is still a full week away and I feel I have celebrated enough and I am ready to move on. Not all joy is spread at this time of the year, and unfortunately, not all memories are good.

So for the next week, I will persevere and as I remember, I will find gratitude for my life and loves. And I will do my best not to sing the Grinch song, but the song from the movie White Christmas….
….“Just count your blessings instead of sheep and you’ll fall asleep counting your blessings.”

Our house is on the market. The market on Bowen Island is super slow and so we settle in with this. Ken and I are in no hurry for change, and still have no idea of what that change will look like or where that change will take place. We really don’t.

But, anything can happen. We got a call that our realtor wants to show our house this morning.

Sure! No problem, all we have to do to get ready is clean up the joint!

We had a super clean house the first week we put the for sale sign up. And then… we went back to living here!

Ken has a wood project going on in his office – I have a quilt in pieces and my glass work table is a mess from making beads the other day. The dinner dishes are in the sink and the kitchen floor has a stain or two from where our coffee pot kinda spills, when I pour in the dark each morning.
There are Moser toys in the living room. The bed’s not made, and is covered with different quilts piled on either side of the bed – I sleep cooler than Ken does. Peet’s hair is all over the house, and wet towels hang in the bathroom. Yesterday’s mail is still sitting on the table, and a package to be mailed is there too. Books with turned down pages are all over the place.

Like I said, we live here. It is our home. And today, we are running around making our home a house again, cleaning, sorting, sweeping, and turning all the lights on in every room. Because some stranger is coming for a look around.

Real estate is the weirdest business there is. We have to leave and have someone who doesn’t live here, answer any questions that might come up. We will never know what these people will like or not like about our house, unless… well, we are in it now, so fingers crossed.

BTW – here is what the place looks like all gussied up.

This bloggy thing is very fun for me. I especially love it when you comment on a post. I know I should probably comment back, but I don’t. I do enjoy knowing you are reading this though and appreciate it. If you did by chance write a comment, and it didn’t get approved, please try again. I’m speaking to friends, not the spammers, that are in the world with nothing better to do than mess with blogs.

I guess the way WordPress is set up anyone can comment, but the comments have to actually sound sane for them to get though, and I have to mark them as approved before they show up. This bloggy thing gets way more spam comments than actual ones. Some are fun to read, most are not.

I look at all comments that come in, because some of us use partial parts of our names, or unrecognizable email addresses and I don’t want to miss one of yours! So, I ponder the comments in hopes I know you. Okay, I don’t ponder, I glance –

One of my favourite spam comments came in the other day. It was from “somebody@somewhere.com” What a great email address!

Here are a few spams comments that didn’t make the cut, but I find are interesting in a “I have nothing else to do today but read this crap, kind of way.” I left in the spelling mistakes.

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Ken came into the office one day, when Sam and I were working at Little Productions, and said, “If you ever need to know where you stand with an issue, come stand by me, because I stand in the middle.”

Where he was going with this is, that when you stand next to Ken, who is in the middle, you will know quite quickly if you are on the left or right of an idea.

It made perfect sense to me and in a funny way, this is quite true of Ken. For the most part, he stands in the middle. Except of course when he surprises me with a strong opinion on something.

I bring this up because I am reading the book, Quiet; The Power of Introverts by Susan Cain. My friend Kathy recommended that I read it. She said, it changed her life!

I love a powerful book!

I’ve always thought of myself as an extravert. I’m out there, social, verbal. I sit in the front row of a class, raise my hand to volunteer, and ask questions without reservation or embarrassment. When I took the Briggs Meyers test in the 80s, I was an E for sure.

But times change and so do people.

Today, I prefer to spend time alone. I’m not as excited to go to a party or accept invitations. I’m not much for socializing. I love to sit alone and think, or create some crafty thing.

These days, I’m more likely to take a chair in the back of the room at a meeting. I stand in one place, usually against a wall, at parties. I would rather engage one on one with a friend. I notice noise more, and am easily distracted in crowds. I haven’t taken a class in a long time, and when I do, I take a private lesson.

Have I moved to introvert status? I don’t know, and I don’t think it matters to me.

Perhaps it is that over the years I have cultivated a wonderful inner life and am just more comfortable in my own skin.

I like this book. But, I’m not reading it in the quiet way, turning pages. I am listening to it as an audio book, I like the engagement of the reader. When I answer the questions posed, I have an almost equal number of yes and no checked off.

They say as you get older, you start to look like your partner. (Or is it your pet?) If that is true, I am one lucky gal, and am happy to be more like Ken in this regard.

I shall stand in the middle.

He: “My dear, what can I help you with”?
Me: “Take this bag of potatoes, peel half of them and put them in the pot.”