The ferry didn’t show up to Bowen Island today.

In a strange way it feels like the keeper of the keys, the guy that works the draw bridge slept in, missed work and forgot that there are people over here and that want to be over there. Or something else happened, maybe the boat broke or the Captain went on strike or this or that…. It doesn’t really matter, we have no control over the situation.

The folks on Bowen Island are now held hostage. Commuters are not able to get to work, the kids won’t make school, flights and appointments will be missed. There are people on the other side of the pond as well, the ones that want to come home or commute to Bowen, they are sitting in their cars wondering how long this time?

The Queen of Capilano — our ferry, our boat, our ride to the mainland — no one has seen it this morning. It should have been here and back two times already as I write this. The BC Ferry website, just reports that the Queen’s sailings have been cancelled. More information would be nice, but would knowing more make a difference?

What you’d have is information — what you’d still need is a boat. Right now, we have neither.

FINALLY I came up with dates for a Summer Push Hands camp/reunion, sent them out — got great response and now I am changing the dates!

Typical!

The new push hands camp/reunion dates…. August 17 – 19, 2012. I promise!

I am very grateful that folks are flexible & willing to adjust & shuffle their plans in order to accommodate this. It means a lot to me.

Nothing else about the camp has changed …… Yet.

No specific topic for the weekend has come to mind, and I’m not concerned about that. I know that with the gang together again, we will laugh, learn and explore. I doubt anyone will get bored but if they do, I’ll send them into Zhang Zhen and that should entertain them for a while!

If you are a Tai Chi person, I hope you plan on coming. Here are the new up-to-date details. It’s going to be good.

When: Friday, Saturday and Sunday, August 17 – 19, 2012
Where: The Bowen Island Tai Chi House on Bowen Island
Who: You, me and others.
How much: I’m going to do this camp by donation.*
What: We will find out together!

Let me know if you plan on coming and if there is anything I can do to make it easier for you to attend.

*I heard this is causing great concern and stress for some folks… please, please find something else to worry about. I truly am asking you to give what you can and to take what you need. I taught for years with a donation policy and it worked out just fine for me and everyone else concerned.

Ken and I are talking about getting another car. I really like our little Toyota, but we are also talking about taking a road trip and I’d like to be more comfortable if we do hit the road.

A lot of the newer cars are like space ships to me. All fancy dancy with big screens and some voice telling you to turn here or at the next light. I’ve noticed that most cars are selling features that enable you do stuff that isn’t driving, like hands free calling. You just have to say what you want and magically it will happen.

I can get in some fancy car today and speak out loud, “Call Sandie! Find a glass store. I want to listen to some jazz. Billie Holiday please!” and from what I understand, my wish is their command. In mere moments I should be snapping my fingers, chatting with my girlfriend and not get lost when shopping for glass supplies. And I’m also driving. Will the magic voice also say, “Watch-out for that truck!” or “Pull over, an ambulance is behind you.”

Okay I feel about 100 years old when I mock the latest and greatest features in driving, but I want to know about the safety and comfort of the car, not the entertainment system.

When we lived in Oregon, Ken did something that was unusual and bought a car without “consulting” me. I know why he didn’t tell me, the moment he had it towed home. Yup, towed home. “Honey, all it needs is steering and brakes.” He so sweetly told me.

I feel the same way today as I did back then when I said, “Honey, all I really ask out of any car IS steering and brakes.” Today, I’ll add to the list, comfy seats and a nice dashboard that I can put my feet up on in case we do hit the road.

I love my work at the O, and I love it even more when I get to see a light go on inside someone.

The qigong class is mandatory for the clients at the O, so that means the room can be crowded. Still, there is always enough space for everyone to spread their arms out and stretch, especially in the front.

A lot of the new folks tend to stand in the back. They are willing to bump into chairs or cram themselves against the wall, taking up as little space as possible. The area right by the door is the most popular, making it easy for a quick get away when class is over.

I ask people to spread out, but the courage required to take up personal space is both over-blown or undiscovered by people in early recovery. Boundaries are illusive and taking up space in a room can be just as weird as standing inside themselves.

My heart soared today when a shy young woman moved up to the front row. Over the last few days, she has been crowded against the back wall. She is also one of the first to leave the moment we are done.

Today though, she lingered, and as the room cleared, she told me she liked being in the front row; she could see better and was able to enjoy the practice more.

Then with courage and awareness of her centre, she said, “See you tomorrow! I’ve become a front row girl.”

I don’t think it gets any better than that!

There’s a lot of work I should be doing. It’s spring after all, and the yard needs work. Oh, and Allyson and I launch an app that we really need to market and promote. I should… uhm, could… be quite busy.

Instead, I dug around in my fabric stash yesterday, and started a new quilt.

My motivation might have been sparked by the series of novels I’m reading about quilting and the women who make them. But, if I look back on the quilts I’ve made over the last 10 years, I notice I tend to make a quilt soon after someone I love dies.

Memory or memorial quilts. Another type of shrine I suppose.

Of course I am thinking of Tomi. As I look outside, spring is all around, new growth, yellow and red flowers, bright colours, light… exactly what Tomi would love.

So don’t ask my why I chose brown and black fabric, I just did. This quilt will be beautiful, yet the dark colours are contrary to everything, Tomi and I am unwilling to change this pallet. (I am as stubborn as she ever was.)

As a rule, I make up quilt designs as I go. I rarely follow a pattern. It drives Ken crazy because I do not plan a quilt. I start cutting fabric, sew it together and watch a pattern emerge. If I don’t like it, I take it apart and start over. Ken thinks I could save a lot of time and heartache by having a plan, but that would drive me crazy, so he has learned to wait, let me have my process, and see what we get.

Still I want this quilt to connect to Tomi in some fashion, and the colours won’t do it. I have an idea of what I want which is different from a plan, so I went online for a little help and clarification.

I saw it. A quilt very close to what I had in mind. The name of the quilt is the Straight and Narrow. There’s the connection! My quilt won’t look like this one, but it will be similar, and I will remember Tomi with each stitch.

I love it when a plan comes together!

What would you do if….?

I was at a party years ago, and when it became known that I was a martial artist, some lug asked what I would do if he hauled off and punched me in the face! I told him I would charge him with assault and have him arrested.

When I first understood Tai Chi to be a martial art I had a very limited idea of what that meant. My first teacher, Jim Eisenman held an interesting view as well and I puzzled at some of his answers to questions I asked.  I think he might have been one of the first free thinking philosophers I ever really paid attention to.

Jim would talk about martial application, from a very peaceful perspective. “what would you do if “ questions would be answered with “I wouldn’t be there.”

“But, what if….” I would continue, and in his gentle way I started to understand that what I was asking was unanswerable.

We can and should have a plan or an idea in mind of what we could/should do in this situation, or if _______ (fill in the blank) was to happen. But the reality is, we don’t know what we would do in any given situation until it happens. We can train, practice, hold a philosophy, principle, or belief and then we deal with what’s in front of us as it is.

I forgot to post today.

Friday the 13th doesn’t scare me. April 13th makes me realize this is as good as spring gets. Yesterday Ken pointed out the first lilac buds sprouting on a bush we planted, now that we have a deer fence. I had my first nap of the year, in the afternoon sun, on the patio, so I need to put away my New York hat and find my summer straw one. Yay! Postsecrets.com is my new favourite web site and I’m thinking of sending in a secret. Each day, when I sit at my desk, I look at a photo of my mother dressed up as Aunt Jemima, as offensive as it is, it always makes me smile. My mom was clueless as to how wrong this was — I miss her. (that’s not my secret) I was told yesterday that it helps to dress the way you want to feel, so today I’m going to get guzzied up, just to see what guzzied feels like. And finally, today is Friday, which means there is a new Undercurrent out. The Undercurrent is our local newspaper. Every week I spend 75¢ on it and every week I say, “Well there’s 75¢ I’ll never get back!”

I never said these posts would be any good. hee-hee.

I like looking at the night sky.

For the most part our night sky is pretty good. I can sit on our patio, tilt my head up and see a fair collection of sparkles, more if I’m willing to walk up the road a bit.

Our night sky is nothing in comparison to where my best friend Sandie lives in Kauai. One visit we sat in lawn chairs for hours, watching the Milky Way from a spot on her island. I would say, for every star we see off Bowen Island, you can see about a gazillion more from Kauai. (I really don’t know the math ratio, but you see more there, than you do here.)

This morning when I clicked on the Astronomy photo of the day, this film took my breath away.

Now, I accept that there are places near and far that I will never visit, there are things that I will never do, and sights that I will never see. We all make choices on how and where we live. I believe Ken and I have chosen well. And yet, I get restless. At times I think I want more, better or different… I crave change. Sometimes the change I seek is a bigger view of the night sky, but more often it’s smaller, like changing the mindless way I turn on the TV to watch whatever is on.

It’s all relative eh? In so many ways, my world is huge and in many more ways, I live quite small.