In 1994 I went to China. A man Ken worked with at the time asked him in a very curious way, “You let Jan go to China by herself?” Ken answered, “I don’t let Jan do anything.”

It is true, Ken never “lets” me do anything. He also never hinders me and I return the respect.

It’s true that Ken and I have very different interests in our lives. I love New York City and Broadway shows, Ken prefers to camp and fish. What we share are the same values in life. And since we met each other, almost 30 years ago, it has worked for us. We count on each other and choose to live together. We have a great relationship.

Our niece is getting married in Minnesota next weekend, and if I could give her and her husband to be, one piece of advice it would be… make yourself easy to love. Your partner shouldn’t HAVE to love you. They should want to.

What I know for sure is that Ken is on my side and I am on his. From the outside, it looks like we go our own way. We don’t — we never have. I know couples that seem connected at the hip and won’t do anything without the other; that works for some, but it wouldn’t work for us.

Ken and I are connected at the heart. Over the years we have developed and enjoyed our own interests, and I will say without a doubt, we have never “let” the other go it alone.