Most people have a lot of holiday traditions. Ken and I have very few.

Each year at this time, we decide if we want to “do” Christmas or not. Some years we do and other years we don’t. The coin for this year, is still in the air as I write this, but I did participate in what has become a yearly tradition with my friend Rosie yesterday.

Many years ago, Rosie asked me if I wanted to go hear the Vancouver Men’s Chorus perform their Christmas concert in town. I can take or leave Christmas music, but I love a live performance and I love spending time with Rosie, so I said, yes! And, ever since that first time, we make the yearly trek and we have the best time.

The VMC is 90 voices strong. A gay man’s choir; they preform without music, there is choreography, and are backed up by an orchestra. It is an incredible and joyful show.

I admit to having a small crush on the conductor, Willi Zwozdesky. I love conductors! I happen to think being a choir conductor would be the best work in the world. If I was different, I would be a choir conductor. I know I have all the moves, but apparently, I’d need to learn music.

Anyway, Rosie and I have this tradition. We make a day of it. We wear our matching Hudson Bay Coats, go out for Chinese food after the show, and when the men sing, we hold hands, and swing, and sway. Pure joy!

The holidays hold different meanings for all of us. Ken and I, after 30 years together, are still defining how we spend our holidays. And, no matter if we make it bright or dull, busy or calm, yesterday’s concert was the kick off to the season. Going to the VMC Christmas concert with Rosie, is one tradition I just wouldn’t miss.

I’d like to say, “You never really know when you do good in the world.” But that would be untrue. I am fortunate to have done a little good in the world and I do know it. Not Nelson Mandela good or Dalai Lama good; move down the good continuum scale, and while I may not be at the very far end, I know, that in my small world, I’ve done some good.

As my dad always says, “It ain’t bragging if it is true.” I usually tell him, “Yes, it is.”

So, while I’d like to think I’m not bragging, something came back to me last night in such a wonderful way that at first, I thought… You never know. But the truth is we do know. I just didn’t know this!

Last night was the first holiday party of the year for me. The O had its company Christmas party and I have to tell you, they know how to party! This wasn’t a sit down dinner like in years past, this time we gathered at someone’s home and servers in white shirts and black pants, walked around with trays and trays of food, all night long! Shrimp, lamb, asparagus with ham, salmon, cheese balls, cake, and on and on. It seemed like something different and wonderful came by sometimes as the last tasty morsel was still on the tongue. It was great.

We had a secret Santa give away, where you got someone’s name and they got yours. Usually I don’t like this. One year my Santa didn’t come to the party, last night about 5 didn’t show up, so quite a few folks went home without a present. I was lucky. My Santa was very good to me. Chocolate! Can’t go wrong there.

Anyway, as I got ready to leave as the karaoke was starting up, the young woman who was serving drinks all night, called out to me. “Are you Jan?” She said, she didn’t recognize me because my hair is some much longer than it was more than 12 years ago. She told me her name was Beverley and that I taught her self-defence when she was in grade 8. She just wanted me to know, “That class literally saved my life… twice!”
My jaw dropped. My heart skipped. My eyes welled up.

She went on to say that, she is now a teacher, and she passes on self defence lessons to the young girls in her life, and added that she encourages them to learn Jujitsu as well!

She excused herself as she needed to get back to work. But she just wanted to let me know, that I had “done something good”.

Let the holidays begin!

Here are three things I learned before 8 a.m. but I could not announce to the world, because the power on Bowen Island is off. And, if you are reading this — it came back on!

1. PANTONE 18-3224 Radiant Orchid is the colour of the year.

2. Numinous
(adj.) describing an experience that makes you fearful yet fascinated, awed yet attracted—the powerful, personal feeling of being overwhelmed and inspired
Pronunciation ‘nU-mi-nus

3. It snowed on Quadra Island this morning.

It’s cold here. Not Alberta cold or Yukon cold, but Bowen Island in December, without rain, cold.

So, this cold and dark morning, I got ready for my quick morning walk, and guanqifa practice, at the lookout, by dressing super warm.

I started thinking of my old friend Haim, as I put on my fleecy super warm pants. (He was a stickler for keeping warm) Linda came to mind, as I put on the pretty wool socks she gave me last year. I continued. Marsha made the sweater, I was with Sandie in NYC when I bought the scarf. The mink earmuffs were her moms. Then I pulled out the big warm Hudson Bay coat, that Rosie gave me several years ago. The one I had lined with my mom’s satin wedding dress, at the suggestion of Janice. I grabbed the flashlight Marian had given me and walked out the door.

All bundled up and ready to brave the cold, I was feeling warm and grateful for the generosity and thoughtfulness of the people in my life.

I made it all the way to the gate, before I realized I was still wearing the house slippers Dorian gave me.

Jeepers, I thought, I’m 58 years old and I can’t even get dressed by myself! ☺

Every morning I kick my own ass and walk out the door for a fast 20 minute walk up the hill to CRC and back. I do it again in the evening, sometimes in total darkness or by the light of the moon.

I just do it.

The best part of the walk is usually at the end when I can say, I did it! But, I also really enjoy the view of Tunstall Bay, the Sunshine Coast, and the mountains from a high vantage point as I move.

Often I have ibuds in my ears, and listen to music, or an audio book when I walk.

Right now I have the book by Chris Hadfield, An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth.  I love it and him!

Chris Hadfield is one cool dude! He gives all those positive attitude speakers in the world a run for the money. He is a realist that speaks in my language of training. Training to train. Training to be ready for…whatever may or may not happen. His advice is be ready so that whatever happens we don’t get all freaked out, but are instead ready to deal.

So, this morning I’m walking my usual route after a bit of self talk to “just do it.” And I’m listening to Chris Hadfield talk about dealing with challenges and set backs and I’m determined to keep going.

When I stop. In the middle of the road is a big dog barking at me. No owner, no leash, big dog, big bark.

Now, I’m listening to Chris Hadfield talk about his space training. How because of all his training, his heart rate doesn’t even rise one beat faster when a warning bell is sounded. Because of his training, he knows what steps to take and perseveres.

At first I thought I could deal with the dog. But then – I realized I’m okay, my heart rate didn’t even rise. I changed my plans. This dog can have the road. I turned around and walked a different route this morning.

After all, I’m not training for anything in particular these days. I just train to be ready.

If you have spinach in your teeth, would you want someone to tell you? Do you tell others if their zipper is down or if toilet paper is stuck to their shoe?

These are not hard conversations. Yet, it is interesting how some people just walk pass and say nothing. Worse are the ones who smile, compliment your hair, and move on; all the while green stuff is sticking in the nooks and crannies of your bright smile.

What if you see or hear something that isn’t as obvious or silly as green teeth, but could be construed as personally offensive, but maybe not generally so?

Do you walk by, smile and nod, and not participate, or do you say something?

What if you are asked why you walked by? Will you answer or assume the question is for someone else?

All these questions are in my head, because of my big fat idea to give away a quilt on Facebook. I asked others what they would do to pay it forward if they won.

I was really surprised that not very many people participated in the contest. Oh, some did, but so many who usually play bewildered me with their silence. It was the smallest contest participation I’ve ever had. And this when, in my mind, the prize was the best one yet.

So, I asked about it.

One brave person gave me her take on it, which started a small conversation between a few people. But again, most people did not participate.

My take on it all. One brave person told me the equivalent to having spinach in my teeth. Nothing more or less. Others said it was a good look, or complimented my hair, and still most just walked by.

Once again, I am reminded to error on the side of generosity.