December 10th, 2018 by Jan

Taking a break from anything, makes it harder to get back into it.

This is a true fact of life for me. Except of course when it comes to eating cookies or potato chips. For some reason, I can jump back on that bandwagon pretty easily.

My addiction to booze hasn’t raised it’s ugly head for a while and yet, the other day, out of no where, I thought it would be a great idea to take a few Ativan!

Don’t worry – I didn’t do it. For the record, I’ve never taken Ativan, nor do I intend to, but, come on — where do thoughts like these come from? Out of the blue, the thought of popping a few anti anxiety pills seemed like a great idea.

Coming back to this bloggy thing is a perfect example of how hard it is to return to a good habit. A habit I actually enjoy.  Swimming laps at the pool is another wagon I can’t seem to hop back on.

Some activities that used to be such a big part of my life are long gone. Others don’t seem to go away no matter my resolve.

Honestly, I’m quite happy with the way the I spend my time. I like being retired and able to do anything I want to with my day.

Still… maybe I need to get back to writing or going to the pool. Maybe I don’t.

Maybe “need” isn’t’ the right word. Maybe “want” is. Yet, contrary to popular belief, for good or for bad, I don’t always do what I want to!

I know beyond a shadow of doubt that the most interesting questions, ideas, and thoughts come from people who practice.

It is with this knowledge, that I think I have nothing interesting to write about… mostly because I’m out of the practice of writing. Yet, I know if I write… this would be more interesting and less rambling. If I popped a bunch of pills, I could make things more interesting as well… just not a good way.

When you know, you can’t really not know it again.

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