May 4th, 2017 by Jan

This morning, I looked out our front window and was struck by the beauty of the day. This happens quite often.

We live in a gorgeous place, have a nice view, and when it isn’t raining or cloudy, well, WOW.

So, as I marveled at the beauty, I also wondered what fresh hell the world is going through today. I wondered how my will head feel, what complaint or joy I will share, and I knew without a doubt that I would turn away from the window, and find out.

Ken and I were watching a show on TV last night about the Ganges River. It was one of those nature shows, that film close ups of water flowing, while someone narrates, in a calm and soothing voice.

The photography of the area was stunning. Then the people came into view and I said, “None of those people give a fuck about what Trump or Christi Clark are doing.” And I thought how great it would be if I didn’t either.

Religious customs were featured; many of them connected to the river. The narrator went on and on about pilgrimages to “sacred spaces” and “magical forests, valleys and mountains”.

I don’t know what I want to say about this — but I am pondering.

Places are just places. Yes, some are more beautiful than others, but magical and sacred are adjectives people give to place. That doesn’t make them so.

For me, a mountain, ocean, and blue sky make for a super pretty place. But, so does a desert and a rock. Nature is pretty, but an earthquake, flood, or volcano – not so much.

Throw religion into the mix and some say you now have a scared place. Add some music and a close up of flowers, or running water and you get a magical place.

I gave up my spiritual search years ago. It was too disappointing at every turn. Honestly, I feel more comfort with the reality of life — even one filled with nut-bars, mean people, pre-existing conditions, and lava.

I think we’re all looking for what ever gives comfort. For some, a belief in magical beings or thinking a place is sacred… helps.

Granted, looking out our window, I feel more comfort than when I think about the GOP, Christi Clark, or the cluster health fuck going on in my head again.

Yet, comfort is hard to maintain. I tend to screw it up by engaging the world. I turn on the news, or read Facebook, I don’t pass up that cookie or bag of chips, I find pleasure in complaining.

Once again — balance is challenging — do I want to be informed or do I want to be comfortable? Do I want to drink coffee and eat sugar or do I want my head to stop hurting?

I know what I really want. I want do anything and everything, I want to do, when I want to do it, AND I want to be comfortable, strong and healthy the entire time. I also, want mean people to just be nice.

Is this too much to ask?

2 thoughts on “toomuchtoask?

  1. Karen Koziol

    “None of those people give a fuck about what Trump or Christi Clark are doing.”

    I just realized that although I worry about what “the Donald” is up to- I never (ever) give a single thought about Christi Clark. Just goes to show.

    1. Jan Post author

      Ha! It does go to show, and you got me thinking about all the people I never think about.


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