Today’s Step (remember that app?) well, I still look at it and for January 2 it says…

“When the going gets tough, I give up on being tough and do my best to get comfortable.”

Yup, I wrote that and I stand by it.

I’m not big on fights. Perhaps I’m lazy or extremely privileged, but I rarely tough things out.

Toughing things out does not mean suffering in silence. I voice my opinion – I’ve already written two stern letters to our Prime Minister (how Canadian)! I will not accept the unacceptable and I will complain. I’d like to think I will also intervene if needed.

So, what does it mean to tough it out?

My friend Jenny once said, that she could do anything for two weeks. She was talking about doing an elimination diet that involved giving up sugar, coffee, and other such goodies for two friggen weeks. Nope – I couldn’t do it. I had good intentions, even good reasons. I tried — sorta.

I admit, I am the type of person who changes their goal when it is obvious that what I should do, is change my behaviour. On that score, I’m too comfortable and near not tough enough.

Sure, I gave up booze and drugs over 30 some years ago. There were times I had to tough it out, and sit on my hands. But really, in the years since – I haven’t given up much else.

Sometimes being tough is sticking, sometimes it is letting go. Either way the end result is seeking personal comfort.

The new year is here, time for new hopes, goals and personal progress.

I love a fresh start and clean calendar, and my Back to Better motto is mixed with old ideas and new expectations.

This motto is not me going backwards. It is me paying attention to what works for me in my life.

I am a creature of habit and all in all, I love my life. I do not have any high ambitions or goals for the year. Basically, I want my head to be better.

I have the same goals and wants as ever. I have no interest in learning a new language, taking an art class, or getting to the gym more often. But, if I do – yay!

Back to Better for me means, that as my day begins, I’ll do my best to be grateful. I’ll do what I can to take care of myself and Ken, and Boze. I’ll make sure we have good food and a good vibe in the house. I know I like days when I read, write, walk, practice, and check in with friends. So, I will focus on the joys of life and do what I can to enjoy my day and stay comfortable.

At days end, I’ll take stock. I’ll continue to ask myself if I have any regrets or resentments. If I happen to answer yes, Then I’ll accept that resentment or that regret as a delicious and selfish treat, that I need to give up or I’ll get comfortable with it.

My days of toughing shit out are over!