Several thoughts are on the run right now. I feel like if I just post a funny picture or easy haiku here, my work is done. But, for me it isnâ€™t satisfying and in the words of a truly self centred person I know, â€œIâ€™m not here for you.â€
Writing is as much of a personal practice as Tai chi and qigong are for me. TT Liang said something like â€” first I practice to learn, then I practice to progress and now I practice because it is a part of me. Like so many lessons I heard over the years this one makes more and more sense at time goes on.
I get it. There are things I do on a regular basis that are just a part of me, and when I canâ€™t or donâ€™t do them, I feel funny.
The last few days Iâ€™ve been limping around the house with a 94% certainty that my foot was not broken. I am not sure what I did or didnâ€™t do to it, but the top of my foot was swollen, bruised and super sore. Also, Iâ€™m a bit of a whiner and poor Ken had to hear all about it.
I have to say this sore foot hindered the daily walks Iâ€™ve come to really enjoy. Iâ€™m not obsessed with themâ€¦. much.Â I have come to the point that they are a big part of my day, and I admit to feeling funny when I donâ€™t get out for them. As I was whining last night, Ken said I sounded like my father. Ouch!
Yet, thinking about it, this is probably the first time Iâ€™ve truly felt empathy for him and his situation.
Dad has been an athlete his entire life. Running, swimming, weight lifting, cycling, skiing, skating, you name it â€” solo sports and active stunts are his thing. Now, he canâ€™t do what he has always done and he struggles.
At first I was short with him, I told him to take up some new hobbies. I encouraged him to learn to play bridge, read more, play chessâ€¦ I see now, that that those are not helpful suggestions to someone whose only comfort is in personal physical achievement.
Iâ€™m not sure where Iâ€™m going with this, but the habit of activity is important, still it has to be tempered with the ability to rest and change when injury or illness creeps in.
As I whined about not being able to take my walks, I was grateful for the wonderful practice of qigong. It is different for sure, but still quite satisfying.
My foot is not broken. After pouring loads of Chinese bruise juice on it, I am 100% sure. So, this morning I strolled to my practice spot and glided through the 108. It was not a perfect practice, I am guarded on my foot and my balance was off, and yet, I do not want to be hung up on what I canâ€™t do.
And in perfect timing my friend Allyson sent this link to me, it is just what I needed to read!