Something I wrote in my last bloggy post has been bugging me. Instead of going back and deleting it or re-writing, I thought Iâ€™d spend a bit of time writing on it and see what I can learn.
I wrote that I like to keep my head in the sand on topics I canâ€™t do anything about.
Well, that is and isnâ€™t true.
I donâ€™t watch the news. I close my eyes at horrible happenings. I donâ€™t watch movies with violence and I scroll pass most links on the interweb that focus on the drama and trauma in the world. I do not want the images of catastrophe in my mind, and I like a good nights sleep and am not easily satisfied with sending a cheque to help out.
Yes, I am privilege enough to have this option. I know it and I am grateful for it. I know how lucky I am to live where I live. I am safe and loved and I know there are millions of people in the world who cannot say that, have never felt it, and in reality, will never know it.
Iâ€™ve never been in a serious flood, earthquake, or fire. As far as Iâ€™m concerned I havenâ€™t been knowingly discriminated against. The only time I was arrested, I wasnâ€™t shoved about or choked. Yes, I have been abused by cops, employers and teachers; I have been used and hurt in the past. I’ve known violence. I did not know the road I was on would turn, but it did. I am lucky and grateful.
I know everyday is a huge struggle for many people, some of them I know and love, and most others I will never meet. There is no doubt I have a great life, and yet because I wrote what I wrote, I feel the need to say â€” I abhor racism, sexism, and most all the â€œismsâ€ society struggles with. And, while I am not an activist today, I will shut you down, speak up, and reach out when I need to.
I do my best to walk my talk. Itâ€™s just at this time in my life, I prefer easy walking to hard talking.
Writing this is the kind of thing that makes my privileged life sound a little sickly and sweet and even condescending. I know just saying I am not a racist is stupid and not enough. I know actions matter.
But, today I am not a cause fighter. I have been. Today I donâ€™t protest. I have. I donâ€™t give money to causes. I have. Everything changes and will change again. Today I am not interested in seeing the horrors of the world. Today I have the privilege of walking in the woods, being safe and loved, and quite selfishly, Iâ€™d like to bask in it. My head is in the sand for a reason right now.
Iâ€™m not sure where this is going and I do have a lot to think about. I think I know what kind of person I am today. As I stand in the safety of my home and privilege, I dare say, I am the one I hoped to be most all my life.