July 11th, 2014 by Jan

Invest in loss. That has always been such a puzzle to the tai chi player.

At times in my training I have used it as a great lesson when I got pushed over playing with someone that I did not want to get push over by!  I humbly thought to myself when losing my balance and ego, “Invest in loss.” I’m pretty sure this isn’t the lesson!

There are other answers to this mystery, and to tell the truth I never really under stood any them well. But I willing apply it when I struggle with the idea of loss.

Side note – I have never used this principle or saying when I’ve experienced a love one die. Never.

I have used it when my computer crashed and years of photos and writings were lost.

I liken it— to having a house burn down — gone. Thankfully we are safe and it is just stuff.

Just stuff. Anna gave me a fridge magnet once that said, “The best things in life are not things!” I wholeheartedly agree. And, that being said, stuff maybe stuff, but sometimes stuff is special stuff. It may still be a thing, but it holds a  memory and a meaning. I attach to a few things and place emotional and sometime financial value to them. The money part is easier for me to overlook somehow, but I am triggered with memory through some things.

I lost such a thing this last week. I am heart broken over it and continue to placate myself with “stuff is just stuff” and “invest in loss.” It isn’t working very well yet.

The hardest part of losing this necklace is … well, one of the hardest, is that I don’t know how or when I lost it. If I had seen it go down the drain or felt the chain break from around my neck, or saw someone make off with it— if I saw it go… I think I could handle the loss easier. Instead I feel like I will forever be looking for it.

If you find it, please let me know.

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