March 12th, 2016 by Jan

Spoiler alert – I whine and complain in the post… a lot.

I probably should not have read The Sisters Brothers before having a tooth pulled. And, I am quite sure that one day, the people of the world will look back in horror, at the barbaric practice of dentistry.

I really had no idea how horrid my experience would be. In my defence, I thought technology and dentistry and medicine and other such practices had progressed from wild west days. I thought getting a tooth pulled would be uncomfortable, but not barbaric. That’s the only word that really comes to mind though. Barbaric.

I looked up the word — the definition fits my experience.

Perhaps I should have known it would not be an easy extraction.

It was last January I went in with a sore tooth. Four visits and two opinions later, a third dentist actually did the “procedure” because they said, he was the best for this type of extraction.

I was in the chair for 90 fucking minutes. The assistant had to hold the top of my head down, to keep me in the chair, while the guy with the pliers was saying… “crap, and wow and whew.”

The sounds of cracking, drilling and popping went together with the feelings of pressure and rending. I know my feet came up off the long chair more than a few times, my shoulders were up around the crown of my head and I had to remind myself that people suffer far worse in the world. At least I had freezing, so it wasn’t “painful.”

I hear childbirth is painful. Water boarding, beatings, eye gouging, going to a Trump rally – all of these are way worse than what I went though — and I know I am a real wimp. Still, it was… well, barbaric is the word I keep using.

Perhaps I won’t be so put off by icky oil pulling (thanks Michael) or squirting that gross watermelon dirt in my mouth,  (thanks Jim) in the future.

My face is still bruised and sore, and while I am better than yesterday, I’ll probably spend another day sitting around, pouting and drooling, because I can. Ken made me soup yesterday and I slurped some noodles down last night. I’ve taken more Advil in two days than I have in my life prior to this. And, FYI, while I’ve thought about it, I have not hit the Crown Royal… yet.

They say you are starting to heal, when you start to complain. If that’s true, I am definitely on the road to wellness.


6 thoughts on “cheesewiththatwhine

  1. LauraB

    The only extractions I’ve ever had were when I had all 4 wisdom teeth out at the same time, under general anaesthesia. Just the thought of what you went through gives me the willies. If I ever have to have a tooth pulled, I’m going for major sedation. I don’t think there’s any benefit in “living through it”. No thanks.


  2. Sheila

    Dentist sounds like a moron. If it took more than 10 minutes to pull the tooth, the roots were probably curved. He obviously didn’t xray it properly first. Or something. UGH. Sounds awful! And worse, sounds completely unnecessarily awful!

  3. Michael

    Ugh. Sounds awful. I’m so sorry. Glad it is over. My grandfather had a saying: “Dentists are the worst”. Not sure I agree with him, but there you go.


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