Here are a few things people I don’t know, have said on the news of Charlie Masons death.

He should’ve been in a mental institute being studied all these years; he was a fascinating specimen and I think could’ve taught us a lot about mental health and manipulation. I did extensive research on him when I played Squeaky Fromme. He was a true example of a combination of nature and nurture, horribly abused as a child and yet incredibly driven and artistic; his original vision for the Manson Family was actually quite beautiful, (conservation, community and environmentalism its primary tenants), but it was twisted by rejection and revenge. It’s incredible that he never actually killed anyone, but was able to drive (what started out as innocent) kids to chemically induced madness and murder. So many football players’ brains are being studied after their death now to try and find the link between concussions and domestic violence; I wish we could study Manson’s to try and maybe learn how someone so terribly mad could lead and inspire such rabid devotion in so many! (Maybe it would help us to understand Trump!) —Shannon Barry O’Grady

Helter Skelter, the book about the Mason Family murders, was the most terrifying I ever read, because the victims were random, the murders brutal, and I couldn’t put in down and tell myself it wasn’t real. Manson’s speech in the courtroom, on his innocence, while the jury was out, was so well delivered, if the jury had heard it who knows what the verdict would have been. After-all, he was America’s most notorious serial killer, and his weapon was words. Vicious manipulators can make otherwise good people turn nasty. And reading the comment sections regarding his death, it’s not just his followers he knew how to bring the worst out of. —Colin Frizzell

What is it about the human race who rather than forget men who do evil deeds, we enable them to be remembered in almost superstar, legendary ways – like Cult Leader Charles Manson who died today at 83. I almost don’t even want to write his name. He hardly is the most evil man – he hardly did the damage the Las Vegas shooter did – but as a cult leader Manson did indeed create a wider cult with a whole generation and modern culture following him. His death made the news after all – today. —Maria Afsharian

So many people commenting on this obviously have no idea why Manson is given the level of infamy that he has. I’ve seen Republicans try to make his long life a political issue, typical. I’ve seen young kids angry that it’s getting media coverage, most likely from sheltered lives. Adults older than me seem to be the only ones that recognize the level of evil he represented. Bundy, Gacy, Dahmer… They just killed a lot of people and in some cases mutilated the corpses. Manson was a whole different league right up there with Jim Jones. Anyone can kill someone, they did it without lifting a finger, making hundreds kill themselves willingly. —Al Melton

The world will not mourn the loss of a crazy little man who was involved with the murderers of Sharon Tate and several others… There is more to that story than will ever be told …but that is another days tale… today the world has one less unwanted child… a man rejected by family and society since the day he was born…he was raised in prison by men forgotten as well… he had a strange sense of humor and a strange sense of loyalty as well… we will not judge his new place in the universe today… but I hope mercy was found for him as I hope also for that mercy … I in my mind do not know what lies beyond death …is it the same for all or completely different for each individual? Possibly the conditions of our beginnings are more important than many realize …so many begin life without love and end up broken people…but anyways… Charlie is gone… you can now be safe from the boogeyman. .. —Lamar Ridley

Ah, but for circumstance. —Jan Parker

“I notice how I prepare for the future, based on past experience, while trying not to lose awareness in the now.”

We saw a documentary once on a man who’d brain had been damaged in such a way that he only knew of the present moment.

At first thought, it was wow — a true spiritual guru. Isn’t living in the now, what we strive for in practice.

Truth is a brain injury is horrid. It didn’t take long to see the hell this guy and his family were in. He had no recollection of nouns past. He could not reference people, places and things that came before and felt he was constantly “just waking up” from a sleep. His awareness was as if — this moment, this one, no this one… was the first moment he was ever conscious of and then… he would wake up to this moment.

He wasn’t even able to reflect back on what a great or horrible moment it had been. He was alone in the moment — forever.

We need our past and a healthy brain, to help us deal with today, and tomorrow.

My Grandmother Chambers was born on this day in 1890.

I have quite a few memories of her. I wish I had more. I do have the fur coat she is wearing in this photo and I wonder quite often, what the heck I could/should do with it.

To me, my Grandmother looks old in this photo — but she was only 65 or 66 years old when she held me on her lap. She lived another 16 years.

Ken saw a photo of Grandmother standing with my mother once, and one of my mother standing with me. He said, “Can’t say I wasn’t warned.”

“I notice how I prepare for the future, based on past experience, while trying not to lose awareness in the now.”

Today I salute my past! I am grateful I can remember, and enjoy today, with the ability to look forward to tomorrow.

My dad wrote several papers and a couple of books. When I would question his sources, he would answer with, “If you quote one person without credit, it’s plagiarism, if you quote a lot of them, it’s research.”

My dad had a way of convincing himself that research counted as original thought.

He happily took credit for such sayings as “It’s a gift, that’s why they call it the present.” and, “My presence is your present.” When in reality, his more original sayings were — “It ain’t bragging if it’s true.” And “Stand over there and take my picture.”

What does all this have to do with anything? The Hudson ego lingers, and apples don’t fall far from the tree. The difference is I know original thought is rare.

I often wonder who said it first, me or you? Did I hear that before? Did I read it at one time? Maybe, I gleaned a part and it sparked something from my own experience, and I put the twist on a particular saying?

If you say something often enough, it tends to get tagged to you. Alice always said, “she wouldn’t say shit, if she had a mouthful.” I know she was not the first to say this, but to me – she gets all the credit.

Sam told me once, that a perfect example of improvising is talking. We may have an idea of what we’d like to say, but for the most part, we start talking and what comes out is what comes out.

One of my greatest joys in life, is my ability to make Ken laugh.

I don’t think about how, when, or what I’ll say to get him going, but I do notice the moment it happens. Nine times out of 10, it’s come out of the blue. I improvised on a situation or thought.

I do try my best to give credit appropriately. I also know that in general, I must now give a big shout out to every class I took, every teacher and student I’ve had, every book I’ve read, and every conversation I’ve shared.

See, I’ve also done a lot of research!

In the training room on Bowen Island, sat a clear jar, on one of the shelves. This jar was full of little scraps of paper, containing handwritten and typed up, words of wisdom.

When I or a student, got a little restless, or in need of a fresh look — into the jar we’d go. We’d pull out one of the slips, and read for insight, inspiration, or a spark for conversation.

One of my favourites, and the one I came across today was:

“Good push hands happens in the moment — not in the habit.”

Now, I haven’t pushed any hands in quite a while. Yet, as I continue my hand at living this life on a fresh basis — this lesson is just what I wanted to read today.

I’ve a lot of habits. Some habits serve me well, others not so much. For instance, my habit of taking a daily walk goes in the “good” habit column. Sugar, I am finding, is poison for me. Yet I am baffled as I continue to give into it. I do it without thinking. Pure habit.

Habit by definition is to have an automatic reaction to a specific situation, a non-thinking, but often trained, reaction. Giving into habit , for me is taking a break from thinking.

The greatest brain fart is habit.

It isn’t just good push hands that happens in the moment — it’s life!

Just when I was excited about a new idea for this bloggy thing – I read the news that Charlie Manson was in a hospital clinging to life.

I’ve followed news of this 83 year old crazy man for as long as I can remember.

Why? Because I truly believe, but for circumstance; a few years and location… I was the type of girl that could have easily joined the Manson family.

I don’t believe in fate, or grace or destiny or any of that stuff, but I do know, that at age 18, I would have been a good target for the likes of Charles Manson.

I know what his “followers” did was horrid and still, I feel such sympathy for them.

They were kids. Kids who got mixed up drugs and fell under influence of a madman.

They were children of the 60s, looking for peace, love and drugs, and it all went wrong.

I was lucky that I met good people at that vulnerable time in life. I just as easily could have been right there with Patricia Krenwinkel, Susan Atkins, Leslie Van Houten and Lynette Fromme.

Now, the news says, Charlie is “clinging to life.” I wonder if that is just a headline or if he values his life as such. I do think psychopaths and narcissists (which he definitely is both) do not think they will, or should die. So, he probably is clinging.

I don’t feel sympathy for him at all. But oh, how his story captivates me.

And if, after all these years, he still peaks my interest. I have no doubt what kind of influence he could have had on me when I was 18 years old.

I am very grateful for the life I lead. I can say that for the most part, I’ve had positive and loving influences and I’m grateful I was susceptible to them.

Would I change parts of my past? Hell yeah. Would any of Charles girls say different? I think they would too.

I have notebooks full of quotable quotes. Heck, I even wrote an app that was all bumper sticker wisdom.

I was reminded of cool quotes from Robert Peters. He is one of three Facebook friends I have, that I’ve never met. Robert has an interesting take on the world, and his web site has a section totally dedicated to quotes. I like it.

So, in true copy cat style – I’m going to start posting some of my favourite sayings, and words of wisdom. Some of these quotes are from Today’s Step, and some didn’t make the cut. Some of came from a class and some were just words thrown down on paper, caught from where ever.

This is a way for me to make public some private notebooks. A way, if you will, for me to take things out of storage, have a look and decide if I want to, keep, toss or donate! It is time for a seven year burn!

Today — here’s a favourite. I’m going to attribute this saying to Ken Parker, who Jim tagged years ago, as a Taoist carpenter.

“If it’s broke, fix it.”

A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.

Believe it or not – Yang style tai chi sabres used to be impossible to find for the home grown tai chi player. We used to use what we called “duck choppers” for the form.

When I went to China in 1994 I looked high and low for a sabre and even though we were on a tour that was all about learning tai chi – I could not find a sabre to bring home. I saw one once at a tournament, but the woman holding it would not let it go even long enough to show it me. “Mine!” was all I could understand her to say.

Then one day out of the blue, my friend Korguer called me to say a store in Vancouver had a sabre in stock and that if I hurry into town, I might be able to get it before anyone else did. It cost $250!

I hemmed and hawed and Ken said — “Go! Go get it!”

I replied that it felt too impulsive and that spending $250. just like that was crazy.

Ken reminded me that I’d been on the hunt for a sabre for years. It was hardly impulsive.

I jumped on the ferry — went to the store and became the proud owner of a Yang Style sabre. No more duck chopper for me! I was in heaven!

Yesterday, I got an email advertising a sale on sewing machines at our local sewing store. Hmmmmmmmm…..

I thought, maybe I’d stop in and look around, just see what they have. I don’t really need a new machine.

I inherited my mom’s Elna Quilters Dream machine, when she died in 2003. That, along with a zillion other quilting supplies, have made my hobby of sewing, pretty darn wonderful over the years.

When I first had the courage to get the machine out of the box, mom had been dead a full year. My friend Rhonda came to visit and sat with me, as we pulled this delight out. Rhonda read the manual and helped me get started.

This machine was incredible. I wondered if I would be able to sew as well as my mom did. I half jokingly said, “All you need to do is whisper, make me a quilt, hit a button and stand back!”

In the years since – I’ve made a lot of quilts on this machine. I’ve taken it in for service several times for tune ups, and clean ups. It is a fine sewing machine. It has been a dependable workhorse.

Yesterday, as I looked at some of the new machines that are on sale… well… technology sure has changed over the years.

I don’t think you even need to whisper to most of these machines. You just nod and they seem to understand. Auto this feature and that. Fancy stitches aside, the Integrated Dual Feed (IDT) is… amazing! LED lighting and thread snips… oh my!

I started reading about these machines, looking at reviews, and hemming and hawing… (no pun intended).

I told Ken I can’t spend that kind of money on impulse.

He reminded me I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, but… you know… I have mom’s machine, it’s even called The Quilter’s Dream!

So while mom’s machine doesn’t come with as many fancy features and attachments as the new ones do – The news ones don’t have the, all important “Alice” attachment, that I’m very fond of.

Our library is wonderful, and every time I go there, I’m impressed.

Today, I feel no need to own a book. I used to. I used to think I had to have a library in the home. Buying books was such fun. Scouring book stores, both new and used was great fun.

Books seemed to be in some fashion exempt from the “too much” zone. Did anyone really have too many books? We didn’t call it hoarding, we call it our personal library.

Of course we had to have resources for our profession. The training room on Bowen Island was well stocked with hundreds of Tai Chi and Qigong books. It was my work after all. A student of any concern would do the same.

Up stairs I kept books on spinning wool, making glass beads, writing and education.

When it came time to cull them — it was hard. I had a lot of memories and lessons wrapped up in those books.

I still have a few book shelves that are treasure books. I keep books written by friends. I also have a few of my favourite tai chi and qigong books, I have some cook books, as well as some books on how to learn. Every book I still have, has a personal memory or occasion attached to it.

I own no novels and these days, and they are the only books I read. If by chance I do buy a book, it comes from a yard sale, and I won’t pay more than 50¢ for it. As soon as they’ve been read — they are out the door. We can easily donate them to the senior centre or to the library for their book sale.

Today, I get all the books I read from our library. It is a fine library and easy to mull around in. The people who work there are wonderful and so very helpful. If they don’t have a book I’m looking for in the stacks, they have a province wide exchange that they tap into.

One book I wanted came in from Fort Saint James! You would think Vancouver would have everything — but nope — had to go to Fort Saint James for it, and they did so gladly! The postage alone would have been a big deal, not to mention all the people involved in finding it and boxing it up, and sending it on — just for me! Just because I said I was interested in it. No questions were asked. I didn’t have to fill out any paper work or give a reason, or justify my desire. for all they know, I didn’t even have to read it.

How great is that? Really!

Yesterday, I was looking for a book that had been recommend to me. Not finding it in the stacks, I checked throughout the Province wide system. Nope. Hmmmm.

The head librarian came to help. “Hmmmmm…” she said as she scanned the computer. Then, she smiled and said, “No problem. We’ll buy it!” She said they would call me when it arrives.
Amazon has nothing on our library!

I have several friends who are librarians. Today I salute them. They are some of the best people in the world, doing some of the best work there is.

There are a million ways to spend your money, and as we enter the holiday season, a lot of folks will have their hand out. May I suggest we don’t forget to support our local libraries, when we start doling out our cash.

What a resource! What a gift.

I’ve talked before about being a process person, and not a product person.

I’m in most things for the process and not the outcome. You should see the watercolours I’ve been painting all week. Pure process. But, it’s just paper I’m ruining now, so no big deal right. Fabric is another story.

So, when the outcome isn’t what I’d hoped for… I go back into the process until I am satisfied.

Last night I took apart the quilt I made for Chukki. For a couple of weeks now, I’ve been looking at it, sleeping under it, letting Boze sleep on it, and wondering why I don’t pack it up, and send it off to her son Peter.

Every time I looked at it, instead of it bringing me joy – all I could think of was — it isn’t right.

I started with the seam ripper, and then grabbed the scissors. Chop, chop, chop! I happen to be watching Project Runway on TV, and I heard Tim Gunn say, “Make it work!”

Now, instead of a finished quilt, I have a lot of beautiful and colourful pieces of fabric that once was a quilt. I now will, once again, think about Chukki and work on putting them back together again.

I realized Chukki isn’t the only one I’m thinking of when I sew in her memory. Her entire family is in this quilt. Everyone of them made my life better.

As I begin to sew again, I remember not only Chukki, but late husband John, and her generous daughters Judy, Chris, Martha, and Catie, and her son Peter. Pete was my best pal back when I lived with the Mains family. He is the one I hope one day will receive this quilt.

It took me more than two years to finish my friend Kim’s quilt. I don’t know why I thought I could reminisce, and finish Chukki’s so fast.

Don’t tell him, but maybe Ken is right.  Perhaps a little planning could help — was it Ben Franklin who said a stitch in time saves nine?

Nah – my process is my process, and it ain’t over til it’s over.