Sober attention

August 22nd, 2012 by Jan

I “took a cake” last night to celebrated 28 years of sobriety. You would think after 28 years it wouldn’t be such a big deal. Ho-hum even. Well, for me it is a big deal. I went to my first meeting 28 years ago and the cake in some way marked the fact that half my life has been spent in a program of recovery. Or as I like to say, I know what I did last night!

A lot of love came my way and it felt good — really good. People said nice things, I was given cards of appreciation, and a few touching gifts as well. Let me tell you about one.

A few weeks ago when I was warming up at the O before the qigong class, a tall and very thin and very young, man I’ll call Steve (not his real name) watched me moved. Then he said he wished he could trade bodies with me. Now, come on!

I said, that surprised me and wondered why in the world he would want to trade with a 57 year old woman with an extra “fullness” about her. Truly his complete opposite. He answer that he could see that my body didn’t hurt.

Steve and I have had other interactions over the weeks — sometimes he has zero energy and just lies on the floor and other times when he is full on and in my face. He onced tagged me as his “Ninja twin.”

I do my best to encourage Steve to choose. Choose to settle in, choose to participate, choose to stay. Sometimes I am greeted with harumph or grrrrr and other times he chooses.

So last night I was delighted when Steve gave me a big hug and said he had a small present for me.

He opened his hand and into my hand placed an exquisite, one of a kind, handmade glass bead that I made myself.

I couldn’t have chosen better and wouldn’t trade it for the world.

4 thoughts on “Sober attention

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *