My friend Jerry fell on the ice in Colorado the other day and broke his femur! Yuck! Jerry is a vital guy and will recover well. Still, he has a journey in front of him, and so does his partner Annie.
A few years ago, my friend Ted was hurt pretty bad, and what seems like a zillion years ago, I was seriously injured water skiing. Most of us have had some sort of injury at some time in our life, and most of us, have healed from those injuries.
Back when Ted was hurt, I wrote him to shared some of the lessons I learned when healing from my “leg wreck.”
I posted it on my old blog and today I am reprinting that story.
From Janâ€™s Notebook on June 19, 2011, and dedicated today to Jerry and Annie. I wish you a speedy recovery and send great love to you both!
I just heard the news that my friend, Ted was in an accident and is pretty banged up. He already has endured two surgeries and may need another soon. The road ahead for him will be long and will seem even longer as Ted is an amazing and skilled martial artist. He is used to being strong and healthy.
More than 20 years ago, I was seriously hurt. I did the splits on water skis at about 30 mph while on vacation in MN. The middle hamstring of my left leg was torn apart and I was told by a famous, and burned out Dr. that I would not recover and probably would not walk again.
It was a long road, but today, I do walk, and at times I can move pretty darn well. I learned a lot from my leg and the healing journey I took.
Today, I send Ted healing thoughts, love, and some of my best juju. Iâ€™m also going to share a few of the lessons I learned from my experience.
First off, everyone has the capacity to get better. Doctors donâ€™t know everything. Some of them donâ€™t know shit.
Getting better is hard work. Healing from a serious injury or illness needs to become the main focus of your day.
Ask for help. Just ask. And it can be for small things as well as big. My friend Darryla did my dishes and cleaned out the cat box, Ken held me up in the shower, Galen loaned me a car I could drive, Jamella kept me company showing me photos of a trip she took to France, Dottie held her hands over me while I cried. Ask for what you need, people want to help you.
Improvements will be slow. Think of Master Jou, he said, â€œMake a little progress everyday.â€
Relapses will happen. Progress goes up and down; this is normal. Be persistent. There will be times, when you get blue and discouraged. Give yourself a little time each day to grieve the change of your health, strength, independence, and agility. Then remember, healing happens. You are worth the work.
Pace yourself and donâ€™t do everything when you feel good â€”that only leads to crashes later. Like a Tai Chi practice; go slow; let there be no gaps, interruptions or unevenness. Keep continual.
Combinations of treatments work best. Not one thing, healer, or technique, is the answer. Stay open to suggestions. When I was in the thick of it, I accepted everything offered, including, but not limited to, hands on healing, sprinkles of holy water, voodoo, herbs, prayers, chanting, physio, electric shock, and dancing on the full moon with drums and rattles. Seriously.
Trust your training and continue to practice. I couldnâ€™t actually practice my form for quite a long time, but I thought about it every day. Where the mind goes, the qi will follow. I had friends come to my house and practice in front of me. I was able to visualize my movements through them, cultivate healing qi, and direct it to where it was most needed.
Accept that your life has changed for now. Let go of old ideas and expectations about your career, relationships, or other big and important things we all think about. Your priority may be to focus on healing. This will be very hard and really worth the effort.
Your partners life also changed for now. Be gentle with them. They are worried for you. Remember, they need care and comfort now too. Book a massage for them. Just do it, even if they say they are fine. When someone asks how they can help, tell them to do something nice for your partner!
And last but not least â€” time will pass. We have the capacity to recover, to heal. Stay open, willing, and present. If you need something ask for it, don’t isolate. Stay close to those you love and to those who love you.
This may sound a little preachy, but it’s my two cents and I walk well with it!