July 19th, 2013 by Jan

There’s a reason “they” say count to 10 when you’re angry. It really does settle us down. There are all kinds of sciencey explanations as well, that I’m not going to get into, but the fact of the matter is time heals.

I needed to count to ten… Okay – for me it was more like I needed a full 10 days of constant counting, but, yesterday I started to feel the shift. The very welcomed shift that took place in my body and in my thinking. I am grateful for the awareness.

The class at the O is still on my mind and the last two weeks have been hard.  I admit that when giving the clients the choice to come or not come to the class has been disappointing for me. In some ways, but not really, I take it personally when someone chooses not to come. But, in early treatment for addiction — like I’ve said before — given the choice of participate or not — well, I would not and I can’t blame them.

BUT… I’ve been thinking and looking back on different experiences I’ve had with the topics of optional, mandatory and privilege. My mind is open to change and my anger is dispersing.

There are so many lessons that have come to mind.

The red shoe talk and modes of attention is one of them. Having change imposed on you is so very different than when change comes from within — I’ll save that for later though.

The lesson I am looking at today comes from breath placement practice, and this all or nothing mindset.

Being an addict I know two speeds in life — full on or I’m not going! Soberity, martial arts, and being married to Ken for 30 years, has taught me, that there is an awful lot of stuff in-between those two speeds. And in that area is a very interesting life.

Yes or no, going or not, inhale or exhale, all or nothing, take it or leave it. These choices are boring to me. We can call it choice, but in reality there are no options offered, and as adults, what I look for are options.

I’m thinking of that most amazing question we all need to ask ourselves over and over again, “Does your structure support your intention?” That is a mantra for the ages and can make the world a better place if we could just answer it honestly and often.

So, today — my mind set is, choice is fine — options are better. Structure is imperative. There is more to yes or no, this or that. There needs to be a little structure offered here.

How we start our day is important. It doesn’t matter if you are at home, in treatment or enjoying summer camp. What are your options? What structures do you have in place to make your world or day better?

More later, I gotta go practice.

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