I went to my first ever NA meeting last night.
Funny how I’ve been in recovery half my life yet, I never once went to an NA, CA, SA, OA, GA or Al-anon meeting. I guess the fact that walking into AA, all those years ago seem to work for me,Â so I just settled in. I never even thought to branch out.
I also never really considered myself a drug addict.
Denial can run deep and labels can get in the way of the truth.
Itâ€™s true enough that in the â€œolden daysâ€ I took and abused plenty of drugs, but my DOC (drug of choice) was always booze. Drugs scared me. I was always afraid that I would overdose with drugs. It never even dawned on me that every time I drank to black out – I was overdosing. Funny what we can tell ourselves.
I have no problem saying Iâ€™m an alcoholic â€” and today with close to 29 years of â€œclean timeâ€. I have no doubt that I am an addict. Period. And as Kumar would say, end of sentence, end of day.
Today none of this is a big deal to me AND it is everything. I am healthy, clean, straight, sober and whatever label that is out there â€” if it fits, Iâ€™ll wear it. And if there is a program, club, circle or practice that supports, inspires and comforts me – Iâ€™ll go there.
Iâ€™m glad I went to NA last night. Partly because it was new to me, but mostly because of the message I heard. There is a specific language used in recovery. NA has its own and it’s different from AA talk. They use the 12 steps as a guide and god is mentioned in the literature, but that wasn’t the focus. What I heard was â€œdon’t use and you have a good shot at life.â€
No matter how I identify myself, thatâ€™s a good message.