Yesterday I was so angry and it was coupled with grief and fear. I went into the woods and just cried. I feel like someone I really loved has died and I don’t know how to go on without them.

It is not grief for the election results That is anger. Anger that the dumbing down of the population that started with the election of a Hollywood celebrity, Ronald Reagan has been the one trickle down policy that worked for the masses.

Anger that the misogyny, racism and violence that is commonplace continues. That progress is made and lost.

What I feel besides fist shaking rage, is a depth of grief that has taken my legs out from under me.

Watching and listening to people sing Kumbaya, hearing people say we just need love and to turn the other cheek and take the high road makes me want to throw up and burn the fuckers down!

It is too soon for those, for me. I’m not ready to make nice. It is too soon to tell me to “have hope.” or “Nourish my heart.” And blah blah blah.

Oceans rise – empires fall -We know this. Yet, denile, good fortune and living in Canada with a border has kept me happy thinking my life and those I love were safe from hate and greed. I was wrong. We are not immune and I feel the time to duck and cover is NOW.

I can not fathom the global issues of the world economy and climate change that will surely burn – For me, I lie awake and worry about loved ones whose sole income is the social security that will be taken away, leaving them even more vunerable. I worry that my friends who happen to love someone of the same sex are open targets, that bathrooms are battlegrounds, that women have no voice or choice, that books are burned, and guns are rampant, and that the belief in a white christian god is the only acceptable way forward. And I am sickened that America thought a demented, felon, and rapist was a better choice to lead them than a moral and educated woman of colour.

I also know – Canada is not all so far behind this horrid right wing trend. That we will probably elect Pierre Poilievre and have our own hate and cruelty to deal with.

250 years of a country tis of thee proves to be enough.

Will we feel safe and comfortable again? Probably. We may even have moments of joy today. After all, besides that Mrs. Lincoln – the play was pretty good. We will chat about food, hikes, places, people and things. We will laugh and cry and sally forth. That is our fortunate life –  But, when the comfortable and vulnerable are threatened by the cruel and powerful…for me, there is a righteous fear, anger and grief.

I know action is required, be it hiding, moving, or fighting. I hope we all do what will be best for each of us. If I can help those who need it, I want to.